


this time i mean it >:|

by welcome_mat



Category: The Legend of Zelda
Genre: M/M, legit writing from my cringe fail 2ds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29122941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcome_mat/pseuds/welcome_mat
Summary: will i write a cringe fanfic in the cringiest way possible? yes and it will happen again
Relationships: Happy Mask Salesman/Poe Collector
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	this time i mean it >:|

**Author's Note:**

> this is crack, but slightly less so than previously

When an evil king of darkness takes over the land, you kinda have to adjust a little bit.  
Adjusting, in this case, meant leaving the Castle Town, seeking safety elsewhere, and oh, fighting or running for your life during a monster attack.  
The Happy Mask Salesman was more of the running type. Most people were, except the soldiers, and he obviously wasn't one of those.  
As such, he felt no shame in stuffing his belongings into his sack and getting the heck out of Castle Town.  
Horrible place, really. It was a shame how awful it was now, considering how nice it used to be. The Happy Mask Salesman rushed out of his shop as fast as possible, trying to avoid the attention of the Stalfos Ganondorf had sent to wreck the town.  
Unfortunately, the Salesman had never had the best luck.  
One of the Stalfos gave chase as the Salesman ran away from the burning town. Castle Town had always been a nice, small little place, but now that smallness meant there was nowhere to hide.  
As he ran, the Happy Mask Salesman passed an open door, and before he knew what was happening, a bony hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside.  
The Salesman would have screamed, but a second hand covered his mouth. The door shut, and the sound of the Stalfos pursuer running past faded away after a moment.  
The hands released him, and the Happy Mask Salesman staggered back and away from their owner.  
Said owner was a very thin man in a dark purple cloak. Their face was impossible to see, other than a glowing red eye in the middle of darkness. They were almost as creepy looking as the monsters outside.  
“Sshhh.” the man said, holding a pale finger to their nonexistent lips.  
He didn't have to tell the Salesman twice. Panic had silenced him for now.  
After a few moments, the cloaked man spoke again. “It should be all right now. Who are you?”  
The Salesman looked at him suspiciously. “I am just a traveler.” he replied finally, deciding not to say the whole truth.  
“A traveler, hmm? I had the impression I was talking to a mask salesman.” the man said.  
The Happy Mask Salesman narrowed his eyes. “How did you–”  
The man chuckled a little. “I read minds, you know. It's dangerous out there, isn't it nice?” he said, changing the subject abruptly.  
“Nice isn't the word I would use.” the Salesman answered. This man was very strange, but at least he didn't seem the type to harm him.  
“I'm the Poe Collector. I buy Poes.” the man explained. “I just got here myself. You were just leaving, weren't you?” he added.  
“Yes, I was. I prefer a less deadly living space.” the Salesman said. He set down his heavy pack, felling more at ease in spite of himself.  
The Poe Collector seemed to grin. “I like it here. I hope it stays this way. You can stay as long as you want.” he said, changing the subject again.  
“Thank you, but I don't think I'll be here long.” the Happy Mask Salesman answered.  
It was quiet for a moment, as the Poe Collector tapped a stick against the floor and looked out the window.  
“I think those Stalfos are gone now. You should be all right to go off now.” the Collector said after a minute. “But if you get the chance to visit, stop by. I always like talking to interesting and handsome strangers.”  
The Happy Mask Salesman opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.  
“Lon Lon Ranch and Kakariko Village are both still intact. If you want a less dangerous living space I suggest you go to one of those.” the Poe Collector said, changing the subject yet again. “You'd better hurry before those monsters come back.”  
The Happy Mask Salesman could see no point in objecting or pursuing the matter further, so he simply nodded, thanked the man for his help, and left.  
But hey, maybe he would come back sometime, when things calmed down.  
How many interesting people one meets when one is a traveling mask salesman.


End file.
